Dancers & Other Short Stories Page 4

  ****************************

 

  The next night was burger night. It was my job to stop by Checker's and pick up a couple of burgers, fries, and shakes. We sat at the kitchen table laughing about the night before. Fiona slapped my hand away as I reached for one of her fries.

 

  "You want to go to Dancer's tonight?" I asked slyly.

 

  "Hell no. Why did I ever let you drag me into that god forsaken place?"

 

  "It seemed like a good idea at the time," I lied.

 

  "What're we going to do tonight?" she asked.

 

  "I'm not going to do anything. I'm worn out. Might watch a little TV, then I'm hitting the rack."

 

  "I'm bored."

 

  "Don't start up with that again," I said.

 

  The doorbell rang and then quickly rang again.

 

  "You going to get that?" she asked.

 

  "It's not my house. Nobody ever comes here to see me."

 

  Fiona got up and shuffled toward the door with those damned flip flops slapping the floor. She was dressed in her normal house attire. T-shirt, underwear, and flip flops. At least tonight's shirt was bigger.

 

  In a surprised voice she said, "Oui, Monsieur Eddie. En su prize moi?"

  I went into the living room to see what was going on. Eddie stood at the door in a black suit and tie with his hair slicked back. He had a box of chocolates in one hand and a dozen roses in the other. He handed her the chocolates, then reached into his jacket pocket and produced a small book. A French-English dictionary. "Now, I can figure out what you are saying," he said proudly.

 

  Fiona turned to me and spewed forth a flurry of Fiona French as she retreated down the hall. Sparks were flying from her eyes. I took the flowers and set them on a table in the living room.

 

  "She's going to freshen up a bit," I said. "She was not expecting you. You want a beer?"

 

  "A beer sounds good," Eddie said as he leaned around the doorway and peered down the hall. "Does she always dress like that?" he asked enviously.

 

  I brought both of us a beer and we sat down for a few minutes. I leaned over and picked up the dictionary from the coffee table and thumbed through it. Fiona was taking her time getting ready and I was beginning to wonder if she might have gone out the back window. I remembered a time when she had done just that when two lovers showed up at the same time.

  Eddie took a swig from the can and said, "I just couldn't give up that easy. I had to see her again."

  My amusement was getting the best of me but I couldn't just laugh in the boy's face. "Just wait for her on the couch there," I said. "I've got to take the dog out for a walk."

 

  I went to Fiona's room and checked on her. She was pulling clothes from the closet and cursing in a low tone. It had been a while since I had seen her so pissed.

  "He's waiting," I said playfully. She glared at me and slammed the door. I went back to the kitchen to get Biscuit. I didn't normally walk him, but I needed to get out of the house. With quite a bit of trouble, I put the leash on him and we headed out the door. Once outside, I broke down in a fit of laughter. The two old widow women who lived across the street looked at me as though I were crazy. I continued down the street laughing out loud.

 

  I made the walk a long one. I had tired of all this and just wanted to watch TV and go to bed. I hoped that Fiona would get rid of Eddie for good tonight.

  The lights were on and I saw movement inside as I returned to the house. A French waltz greeted me when I stepped up on the porch. I believe it was 'A Stroll in Paris.' I looked in through the side light and saw Fiona dressed in a flowing white gown and high heels. Her face was painted in a garish manner and it was actually frightening to behold. Two half-empty glasses of wine sat on the coffee table.

 

  I watched as she whirled around the floor, leading a poor stumbling Eddie around like a circus clown. The music finally faded away and they fell to the couch laughing. Both were out of breath.

 

  Eddie picked up the dictionary and fumbled around for a suitable term. He pointed to a phrase that said in English, I like you. She looked at the translation and made a stab at the French pronunciation. She laughed and pointed to herself, then to him.

 

  For an hour or more, they sat on the couch looking up phrases and lurching through poor attempts at communication. They were laughing but I could see Fiona's growing frustration. She was tiring of the game. She pulled a chocolate from the box and nibbled at it. Eddie leaned in and tried to kiss her. She pushed him away with a string of what I assumed was French profanity. Eddie was confused.

 

  He picked up the book and started turning pages. Fiona said, "You poor dumb fool. Can't you tell a game from reality?"

 

  Eddie looked up stunned. "You speak English?"

 

  "Of course I do. I'm not French. It's just a game, silly."

 

  Eddie's face turned a bright shade of red. "Damn you," he yelled.

  I walked into the room when I sensed the situation might get out of control. He looked at me. I shrugged. "Damn you too," he screamed. His face was flushed and I feared he might start foaming at the mouth.

 

  He got up and paced the floor staring at Fiona with contempt in his eyes. "I bought you candy and roses," he whined.

 

  "Here's what I think of your roses, you dumbass." Fiona picked up the vase, pulled a long stemmed rose from it, bit the head off, and spit it on the floor. She proceeded to do the same with the eleven remaining flowers. Eddie stared in shock. Even I was put off by the action and I thought I had seen it all.

  She handed him the stems and said, "Now, get out of here and don't come back. I don't want to ever see you again."

 

  Eddie looked as though he had been struck by lightning. He threw the stems to the floor and said, "I'm going to go get my brother. We are going to come back over here and whip both of your asses. And then I'm going to burn this house down. I can't stand being made a fool of, especially by a couple of other fools."

 

  Eddie stomped to the front door, pulled it open in a vicious manner, and slammed it for all he was worth as he left. The house shuddered from the impact. He revved up the truck engine several times and then roared away with the tires squalling. I could smell burned rubber from inside the house. I looked out the window and saw the two widow women across the street with their hands over their mouths, horrified.

 

  I walked into my bedroom and began throwing clothes in my suitcase. Fiona followed and asked, "What are you doing, Snap?"

  "In case you didn't notice, Eddie was mad as hell when he left. I don't plan to be here when he and his brother get back. I don't care much for ass whippings and fire."

 

  Fiona disappeared into her room. A few minutes later she emerged dragging two suitcases across the floor. "I'm ready. Where're we going, Snap Boy?"